THE WORD, UNSTOPPABLE

The ultrasound tech had no idea what I had just been through. She began the appointment and asked what I did for a living and what my husband did. Small talk, usually very harmless but in this situation it left a pregnant woman crying in front of her. It was the first time I explained the situation to a stranger and the emotions came flooding out. This made what she was about to tell me very difficult for her. She hesitated and I heard a very nervous quiver in her voice. Complications, high risk, share a placenta, blah blah blah. It became muffled to me, I had no idea how to comprehend what she was saying. A few doctors and specialists came in and I had no idea what they were saying to me. What I did hear was that my twins were sharing a placenta, one was significantly smaller than the other, her umbilical cord wasn't placed securely, she was missing something in her cord, and the other twin was much bigger and she may have fluid behind her neck. All of these things could result in the death of 1 or both twins. Worst case scenario of course, but in my mind it was just too much. Seriously, how much could one person take! That was it, I was done, devastated. How could God take away my husband and one or both of my unborn children? How could he give me a disability? How could he do any of this to me? Why me? Yes, I threw myself a huge pity party and placed blame on the big guy upstairs.


Boy was I wrong.


I agreed to further testing that could determine what the heck was going on with my twins. Two weeks later I found out there was not too much to worry about in regard to their health however, the small one would still need to be monitored bi-weekly and I may need to deliver them by 28 weeks at the latest if they both survived. After my first official bi-weekly appointment where the doctor told me I may lose one of my daughters, I decided to name them. Hayden was easy because my husband and I always loved that name. The small one would be Gracyn, G for George and Gracyn for the grace of God. I would need both men to watch over my girl. From that moment I vowed to fight for Gracyn, Hayden and Weston. I would find the strength to take each day as it came, it may not be pretty but it was a journey I was 100% sure I wanted to take.


Sure, I was still very upset about the loss I just suffered however; I needed to be strong for my 3 children no matter what. People say I am brave and strong but trust me, I know all of my mom friends would do the same thing. We are an extremely powerful force, don't mess with us, we are all superheroes in our own way. We take heartbreak and we deal with it, we learn from it and we move on. We have to because we have to show our sons that women can handle anything and we demand respect, and we have to show our daughters that we are unstoppable. Unstoppable, a word that now describes me and the mom I will always be to my children. Unstoppable, a word I never thought would describe me but it’s a word that describes all moms when faced with diversity. We just don’t realize it until we become it.