The Word, Widow

It was the phone call that I have received many times before. My husband took a turn for the worse and I needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. All the other times he came out of it smiling and stronger than ever. This time was different and I knew it. The next day my husband of 5 years passed away due to complications from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). That was the day I became a 37-year-old widow. A widow who had a 2 ½ year old son. A widow who was 11 weeks pregnant with twins. A widow who was born with a disability (though I rarely ever refer to my arm as a disability). A widow whose life changed that day. Widow, a word I was afraid of for 4 years.

My journey hasn’t been very easy, I have been challenged my entire life. However, this was a challenge I wasn’t ready for but had to accept. People say I’m strong but in those days and months surrounding his death I felt everything except strong. Strong wasn’t a word I would use to describe how I felt. I felt deflated, weak and scared. How was I going to get through this pregnancy without my rock, my love? How was I going to tell my son his daddy was never coming home? How was I going to do anything without him? Well, I will get into all of that in later posts. I did get through it and it made me much stronger. I realized after my twins were born that I had a story to share. A story that made me a widow who…

I am scared to death to write this blog, but I also know that I am meant to. I have been through a lot and through my writing I’m hoping I can inspire someone. I’ll be taking a somewhat hilarious take on the hot mess my life has become and how I navigate through it. I hope you stick with me through this journey, it’s going to be a wild ride!