The word, Judgement

That moment when you realize that you are no longer sad, your heart feels different and you haven’t cried in about a month. For me this feeling was weird and I felt ashamed. Should I already be feeling better, have I grieved long enough? I was ready to move forward with my life and I wanted to embrace these feelings but it was difficult for me. I was worried that I would be judged for how I was handling my grief or lack thereof at this point.

 Judgement.

So, after some soul searching, I realized I was ready to be happy again no matter what type of judgement would be placed upon me. This meant getting involved in church, spending time with friends, going back to work and possibly dating again. I am proud to say that I have done all those things except for dating…. These were my thoughts on dating:

1. Ugh, NO THANK YOU!

2. Just imagine my introduction. Hello, I’m Allison, I have 3 kids under 4, I’m a widow and as you can see I have 1 arm. LOL.

3. Nope

4. What will people think?

5. Will I be judged for moving on too quickly?

As single parents, making the decision to date again is complicated not to mention when you add on worrying about how you are perceived by others. Whether you are divorced, widowed or never been married bringing in another person to your life and your children’s life is stressful and scary! When will introductions take place, what if it doesn’t work out, will my kids be too attached, will people think I’m moving on too quickly? For me personally I can’t wait to have a partner who will love my kids, who my kids enjoy spending time with and who will be a perfect addition to our family. Once I realized I that, I no longer worried about what other people were going to think or what their opinions were.

I know my heart is ready to find love again and I could really care less how I am judged for that. Maybe that sounds harsh but I have been through a lot lately and there comes a point when I must live my life to the fullest every day. That means I can’t worry what others will think of my decisions, especially when those decisions don’t impact them whatsoever! Always remember that you know what’s best for you and your kids. Not your parents, not your friends and certainly not strangers on Facebook! Be you, live your life exactly that way you want to live it and most importantly have fun. Life is way too short to worry about what others will think of you. 

So, wish me luck as I go on this new journey…dating!